Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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