You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
