i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
