she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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