omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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