I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
