i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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