She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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