I want to stick my p in your. b.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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