he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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