I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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