What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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