so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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