my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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