Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize