My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
