There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The beer is more important than you right now.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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