He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize