I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
