I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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