it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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