it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
