Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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