I like my sex mixed with concussions.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
from now on my penis is your penis
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
