thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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