I didn't shave. On purpose
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
