My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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