32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
