Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

wake up i wanna do it froggy style

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(949): View more from California

It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

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(207): View more from Maine

my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.

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(210): View more from Texas

If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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(530): View more from California

I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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(862): View more from New Jersey

woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic

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(937): View more from Ohio

Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."

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