Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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