I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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