what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
