Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
