Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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