I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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