News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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