I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
