i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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