In the future we'll all be gay
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
