He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize