Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
