yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Watching her eat just hurts me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
