Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
