You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
