We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
