ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
