On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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