I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
