i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize