Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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