look no pants
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We are all done wearing pants today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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