your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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