i'm lost and i look like a hooker
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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