Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
