since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
