Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
