i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
