There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
