You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
