well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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