somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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