Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
