She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
