I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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