Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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