not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
