that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
