I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
