yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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